As many of you may know, I too, like you or ten others, suffered from unfortunate depression and at one time lived a life of considerable hardship.
The same thing that I mentioned in my introduction to another article, the same thing that I mentioned in the training center and I am mentioning here. Forty years ago. I was one of the poorest unfortunate boys in New York at the time. I used to sell lorries for a living. But I didn't know anything about lorry. That being said, it is rarely said. I didn't know, but I had no interest in knowing.
The fact of the matter was that selling lorries was not to my liking. On the contrary, I hated this work.
I lived in a cheap, rented house on West Fifty-Sixth Street in New York City. Everywhere in the house there was a large warehouse of cockroaches. I still remember my neckties hanging on the wall. One morning, a cockroach was scattered around the wall to pick up a necklace from the wall. I had to spend those days eating half a meal in a dirty hotel restaurant. It seemed that the restaurants were full of oil like my house. Despite my reluctance, I had to spend my days eating cheap food in such hotels and restaurants. I still remember an unbearable pain in my head when I returned to that room every day and night. The chest was full of frustration. Constant frustration with lorry sales. And with that, the bitterness of anxiety and the feeling of a frozen rebellion grew all the time. With all this, a kind of frustration and pain gradually grew in me. For all these reasons, I became a kind of rebel. The reason is that all the sweet and wonderful dreams seen in the sweet days of college were just ending in one failure after another. I thought, is this life a real life now? Is it life? Will these trivial dirty deeds that I am doing now surround me for the rest of my life? Is that why I waited a long time 6/5 years ago today?
The work that I hate in my heart is the co-existence of those cockroaches, living in a dirty house like them, eating dirty food like them. After all, who has no hope for the future - do I have to spend my days doing that? Have to live with the rest of life?
I wanted a little leisure, a little reading, a little rest to think about, moreover, all the books I used to write in college.
I knew that giving up this disgusting job would not hurt me much, but it would do me some good. The reason is that I have never had a strong inclination towards money. All I wanted was to enjoy life to the fullest.
In short, there was such an attachment in my life that at that moment I had to put an end to all my fears and doubts and try to live a new life with an extreme decision. Such a moment comes in the life of almost every young woman, from the beginning of their career.
I decided anew. And that decision changed my whole life. And the happiness, peace and prosperity that I have lived through in the years since then, the dreams and aspirations of the young age of the past are beyond his reach.
284.245 SRY